My Sunshine
by hamadasparkle
Summary: Sleep deprivation is something Tadashi Hamada really hated. Especially when it meant that you caused your 13 year old sick brother to stand by a pile of broken glass sobbing.
1. Guilt

Chapter 1: Guilt

Hiro's eyes shot open as a wave of nausea towered inside him. He dashed to the bathroom, hand over his mouth, barely making his head into the toilet before bile scraped its way out of his mouth. He didn't know how long he had been sitting there, but Hiro finally pushed himself up on shaky legs, tiptoeing to Tadashi's room. He sighed in relief when he saw his brother completely still, snoring slightly. Holding his stomach, the 13 year old wandered back to his bedroom.  
Tadashi had a massive essay he had to write that night. He was sure that his brother had barely finished it and had just recently gone to bed. 6 hours at school and 4 hours each working at the restaurant and the grocery store wasn't exactly a simple schedule for a 20 year old to uphold, as well as trying to take care of his little brother by himself – which means making sure he had his homework done, ate dinner, and that no one punched him in the face that day.  
To be completely honest, Tadashi wasn't exactly in a chipper mood for the last couple of months. Hiro didn't know what triggered Tadashi's little snaps at him and his friends. So he always tried his best to be a perfect little brother. He couldn't be a burden.

Waking up feeling even worse than he did in the middle of last night was certainly not what Hiro was hoping for.  
His head roared with pain; his blood felt thick and slow, and his hands were trembling. His only comfort was the sound of the shower running – Tadashi was awake. Taking a deep breath, Hiro slowly changed out of his pajamas and meandered into the kitchen. By the time he got down, Tadashi had already finished his shower and was sitting on the counter, drowsily slurping coffee with one hand and writing notes from a textbook with the other.  
"Hey, bud," Tadashi said, his voice groggy and a little irritated. Hiro tried not to topple over his own feet while opening one of the cabinets.  
"Oh, Hiro, I forgot to tell you yesterday. I'm gonna be home late tonight. You're gonna have to take the bus home. I need to work overtime this week cause of that presentation I'm doing next Thursday." Tadashi didn't look up from his book.  
"Oh… okay. W-what time are you gonna be home, you think?" Hiro shoved his hands behind his back, hoping it would stop the trembling. Why was it so cold in here?  
"Like, after midnight. You'll be in bed, so just make sure you lock the door, okay?"  
"So… I c-can't see you at all today?" Hiro said slightly above a whisper. He didn't feel good at all. He wanted Tadashi to come home early and make him dinner and play movies with him and make him brush his teeth for at least two minutes, and wear extra socks… and give him a hug goodnight. He missed seeing his brother all the time before he got his second job.  
"Hiro, can you give me a break? I don't want to do this either, but you know how we're doing… I need to work. Do you even appreciate me? I have to pay for your school, and mine, and the house…" Tadashi trailed off, agitation obviously beginning to hint in his voice, with a touch of frustration.  
"S-sorry…"  
"Whatever."  
Hiro's lip trembled. He hid behind the open cabinet door. He jumped slightly at the sound of a book slamming closed.  
"Obviously you think your life would be _just fine _without me Hiro, so I'm going to the lab early. Take the bus."  
Hiro's eyes widened. Tadashi always offered to drive or walk him to school… He saw Tadashi out of the corner of his eye slamming books into his bag. The older brother's eyes were smudged with dark circles. Hiro pulled his sweatshirt sleeves more down his arms. It was so cold in here…  
Hiro went to grab a bowl from the cabinet, his trembling hands unable to stop the moment when it slammed into the ground, shattering into hundreds of tiny pieces all around Hiro. He jumped up onto the counter instinctively, sliding more towards the living room. Tadashi jumped and turned around.  
"What the hell, Hiro? Are you freaking kidding me? I can't believe this," the sleep deprived Tadashi slammed his fist into the wall, yelling obscenities and throwing his bag down.  
"Great, now I'm late to school after I clean this up, which means I'm late to work which means my boss will be pissed which means I'm gonna lose my job because of _you, _Hiro." Hiro froze completely, his mind still not fully straight from feeling so achy. Feeling sicker and more delirious than ever, tears welled up in Hiro's eyes, and after a couple of seconds, he busted into full out sobbing.  
Tadashi froze, snapping out of his exhausted phase; his eyes shot concerningly to his little brother. Instincts kicking in, he ran to his brother, his boots protecting him from the glass on the ground as he wrapped Hiro in his arms. Hiro hadn't cried like this in such a long time…  
"Hey, hey, hey, Hiro. Sshhhh… come here buddy, it's okay… Shhh.. calm down. I'm sorry, Hiro – I'm so stressed, I don't mean to take it out on you…"  
"D-Dashi…" Hiro squeaked, clinging onto Tadashi's jacket like a lifeline.  
"It's okay.. I'm here… Shhhh…"  
"Dashi… I don't feel good."  
Tadashi paused slightly and drew back, just now realizing Hiro's trembles. He rested a hand on his forehead while he stroked his hair.  
"Hiro, you're really hot. Did you start feeling this way this morning?" Tadashi said gently. His anxiety grew when Hiro shook his head.  
"Last night I t-threw up…"  
"What? When?"  
"Y-you were as-sleep and I didn't wanna b-bother you…" Tadashi sighed sadly, taking Hiro in his arms again.  
"Hey, Hiro, listen to me. Shhh.. calm down and listen." Tadashi whispered, his hand still in Hiro's hair. Hiro's sobs quieted to sniffles as he snuggled closer to Tadashi's chest.  
"Hiro, you are not a burden to me, okay? You're the exact opposite."  
Hiro coughed, triggering the throbbing in his head, ringing to his ears. Tadashi must've said something to him – he didn't hear it but he felt his vocal chords when vibrating against him.  
"My head hurss.." Hiro slurred, looking up at Tadashi's whose eyes were now full of concern. He was able to tune in to what his brother was trying to say.  
"Okay, it's okay. Let's take you upstairs." Tadashi eyed Hiro's socks and scooped him up, wiping the tears he caused from his little brother's eyes.  
Tadashi plopped Hiro into his bed, wrapping the covers around him, which Hiro instinctively curled into. Tadashi leaned down to his level.  
"I'm gonna call the school and my jobs and tell them I'm taking the day off," Tadashi said softly, wincing when Hiro's eyes widened.  
"No, Tadashi, you need to go. I'll be fine…" Hiro croaked.  
Tadashi almost considered it, then immediately reminded himself no when he took a second look at Hiro. His eyes were glazed over, his cheeks slightly pink, trembling under the blankets.  
"No… don't worry about that, buddy," Tadashi whispered, placing his hand on one of Hiro's leg covered in blankets.  
"We'll be okay, it's just one day."  
"B-but what about your presentation?"  
"I'll handle it. Worry about you, okay?"  
"Please," Hiro whispered. Tadashi's stomach dropped when he heard his brother's voice break. "I don't want you to struggle because of me." Hiro didn't notice the tears beginning to drop down his cheeks until Tadashi began wiping them away with his thumb. Tadashi paused for a moment.  
"Hiro… just… go to sleep, okay bud? You're not feeling too good." Hiro nodded slightly deliriously, leaning into Tadashi's shoulder, his head pounding again.  
"You're not a burden, Hiro. You never were and you never will be. You're all I have left… You're my sunshine."  
Hiro heard the sound of Tadashi's whispers and felt his hand rubbing his back, and drifted into the quiet peace of sleep.  
Tadashi sighed when he noticed Hiro's breathing even out.  
_I'm not the brother I want to be._


	2. Clouds

**Oh my gosh! I forgot to write an author's note last time! So hi, thank you for reading my story :) I'm thinking of making this a trilogy.**

Gentle whispers drifted into Hiro's ears. He couldn't tell where or who it was coming from, but he was clinging on to something. He tried to open his eyes to see who was there, but they burned when he tried to open them.  
Head throbbing in agony, the same wave of nausea he felt earlier rushed up to meet him. Panicking, Hiro flailed in an unknown direction, hoping he'd reach a bathroom. He felt someone grab him and something cold and hard was placed under his chin. He cringed at himself when vomit rushed out of his throat and into the bucket in front of him.  
A constant, dull ringing in his head started to quiet down after a little bit, and he heard someone shushing him gently, wiping his mouth. Hiro rubbed his eyes, slightly embarrassed of the whimpers that slipped past his lips every time a wave of pain throbbed in his forehead. He leaned into something soft behind him, clinging to it. When he felt the same gentle hand earlier stroking damp bangs out of his face, Hiro desperately tried to pry his eyes open.  
"Hey… It's okay. Just go back to sleep, okay? I'm here..." Hiro sniffled; one more shiver racked his body as the black clouds returned, dulling him to sleep.

Hiro stood in piles of glass, more and more raining from the sky and crashing around him, cutting his legs. Horrified, Hiro screamed, eyes dashing in every direction… but no one was there.  
Suddenly, right in front of him, Tadashi stared into his eyes, a look of disgust painted onto his face. Hiro immediately felt relief and reached out his hand.  
"Tadashi! Help me!" Repulsed, his older brother glanced up and down Hiro's bleeding body. Hiro felt someone calling his name, but ignored it as he saw Tadashi turned his back to him, glass shattering all around except where Tadashi walked away. Hiro sobbed, reaching his arm out to his older brother, who drifted further and further away from him, never looking back. He knew it. Tadashi didn't love him anymore, did he?  
_Hiro… Hiro…  
_"Tadashi! Please don't leave me! Come back! Please! DASHI!" Hiro screamed, curling into a ball. He couldn't see Tadashi anywhere.  
He left.

"HIRO!"  
Hiro felt himself fling forward, hands clutching his face. He gasped for air, trying to discover what was around him. Weak, strangled sobs squeaked out of his throat. Everything felt numb, except for a voice that sounded like it was in another room. His ears clung to it, trying to figure out what it was saying.  
"Hiro – come on, Hiro. Look at me. Hiro, please. Look at me. I'm not gonna leave you, I'm right here. See? Right here, I'm right here." Hiro blindly reached out, and immediately he felt someone grab him.  
"Hiro, listen to me. Take a deep breath in, okay?" Hiro recognized the voice's instructions, and attempted to take in a shaky breath.  
"That's it buddy, now let it out." Hiro whimpered slightly as he puffed the air out.  
"Okay, shhh… it's okay," Hiro's eyes began to focus, and he realized he was cradled against someone's chest. Hiro looked up, and saw his older brother's horrified eyes staring down at his.  
"D-Dashi?"  
"Hi, Hiro," Tadashi gently said, like he was talking to a lost puppy. He wiped his little brother's tears from his cheeks – ones he didn't even know he was crying.  
"It was just a nightmare, 'kay?" Hiro nodded shakily, glancing around the room. He was in Tadashi's bed, and it was dark outside. He sighed in relief, feeling his brother next to him. Not walking away, not leaving him, but with him. The moment of peace was interrupted when a stinging pain made an entrance in his hands.  
"Ow…"  
Hiro unclenched his fists, looking down and seeing red.  
"Oh my god," he heard Tadashi say. Hiro felt himself get pulled up into a sitting position, his head wobbling to one side.  
"You must've dug your nails into your palms…" Tadashi said, wincing as he held one of Hiro's smaller hands in his. Hiro stared blankly at his hands, his head aching.  
"Wait here, okay? Don't move." Hiro watched sleepily as Tadashi quickly walked into the bathroom, his head continuously looking back at his little brother. He came back as fast as he left, with a roll of medical tape. Hiro stared at Tadashi quietly, feeling really guilty about the stress he was causing his older brother. You could see it written all over his face.  
"I'm sorry…" Hiro whispered.  
"No, no, no… Hiro… don't be sorry, okay? You didn't do anything wrong."  
There was a moment of silence, with only the sound of Hiro's sniffles and the wrapping of tape around his palms filling the room. Tadashi hesitated for a moment before speaking.  
"Must've been some nightmare. What were you dreaming about?"  
Hiro shrugged, worried that he might make Tadashi more upset. If that was even possible.  
"What's goin' on in that bonehead of yours, buddy?" Tadashi smiled shakily, trying to make it not look like a grimace. He set the roll of tape on the table next to his bed, then leaned over towards Hiro, placing the back of his hand on his forehead. Hiro stared back at him with glossy eyes. Tadashi was starting to feel sick himself. He needed to keep a better eye on Hiro…  
"You're still really hot," Tadashi tried not to panic as he grabbed the thermometer he had ready next to him.  
"O-ok… I really need to get you some medicine, Hiro." Tadashi didn't think Hiro was listening. They didn't have any medicine in the house right now – he really should've been more prepared. His first thought was to run to the store, but then Hiro would be left alone for at least a half an hour, and if he had another night terror… He couldn't risk his little brother hurting himself again. He could call someone, and they could bring him something to help bring Hiro's fever down. Both of these solutions weren't helpful as well in the sense that it was 4 in the morning. Tadashi sighed, distractingly running his hand through Hiro's hair. Tadashi pulled out his cell phone and scrolled through his contacts, deciding which person he would feel less guilty calling in the middle of the night.  
As he waited for the phone to connect, Hiro leaned against him, clinging to his arm.  
"How're you doin, kiddo?" Tadashi asked softly. Hiro gave a little whimper in reply.  
"_Hello?_" A sleepy yet cheerful voice came out of his phone.  
"Oh, hi, Honey Lemon…"  
"How come you're calling me so early? And how come you weren't at school today? Is everything okay?" Tadashi sighed,  
"Eh… Hiro's really sick."  
"Aw, poor thing,"  
"Yeah… he's not doing too well. I think there's a grocery store that's open 24 hours, but I don't want to leave him alone right now."  
"Right. I might have something. Is it a cold?"  
"Fever. 103." Tadashi rubbed Hiro's back, tucking more blankets around them.  
"Ouch. I have motrin and ibuprofen, do you think that'll help?"  
"Sure, at this point anything'll help." Tadashi heard shuffling sounds on the other end of the line.  
"I'll just bring it over right now!"  
"Oh, Honey, you're a life saver, thank you." Tadashi said, relieved.  
"Oh, don't even worry about it. You work too hard, Tadashi, you know that? And you worry too much."  
"Tell me something I don't know." Honey Lemon giggled, then said goodbye and hung up. Tadashi grabbed the bottle of water next to them and brought it to Hiro's lips.

Hiro choked slightly when he felt something try to enter his throat. After realizing it was water, he delightfully started chugging it, upset when he felt it pull away from him.  
"A little bit at a time, buddy. I don't want you throwing up again. It's not pretty," Hiro smiled slightly, the clouds in his mind clearing up a little. He tried to ignore the dull throbbing in his palms and focused on Tadashi.  
"Hey… Dashi?"  
"Hm?"  
"Are you gonna go to school today? Or work-"  
"Hey, what'd I tell ya? Don't worry about me, worry about you," Tadashi sighed. "Honey's bringin' you medicine. So hopefully you'll stop shaking so bad."  
"'M tired…"  
"Then go to sleep, you dork," Tadashi said gently, trying to ignore the concern in the back of his head.  
_Please, please get better, Hiro._

**Let me know if you'd like to continue. You can message me on tumblr (hamadasparkle), and sorry by the way, this isn't my best work. 3**


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